sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Small penises have feelings too.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
