Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Randomize
