And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
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