dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
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