literally had 100 drinks last night.
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Randomize
