you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize