Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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