HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
We don't watch enough power rangers
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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