DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Randomize
