I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Randomize
