Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Randomize
