guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
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