he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Randomize