just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
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