Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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