You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Come see our sink grown plant.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
