I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
