Best friends brother. Beat that.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
Randomize
