why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
