i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Randomize