I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
My vagina is officially offended.
So much Jack, so little girl.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
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