so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
My breath smells like gin and sadness
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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