i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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