google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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