All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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