I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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