It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Someone came in the potted fern
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
