I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Me. At least after what I've been through.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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