He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
