my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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