New low: just hacked my moms facebook
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Randomize
