"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
