When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Randomize
