Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize
