So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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