Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Everyone says I win the strip club
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
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