therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
