just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
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