Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
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