saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
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