dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
Randomize
