Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Randomize