Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I think i got beer on your cat.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
