is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
Randomize
