You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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