Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
