I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
This toilet bowl is my home.
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