In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
