I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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