check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I miss vodka workout Fridays
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
