Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
