At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
