she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize