Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
No stitches, just platelets and will power
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Randomize
