I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Randomize
