Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
