there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
