Your mouth is God's brothel.
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Randomize
