...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Randomize
