Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
