hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
I intend to get homeless drunk
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
