He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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